::leading and being led::

"I just want to be a sheep. Baa baa baa baa. I just want to be a sheep. Baa baa baa baa. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. I just want to be a sheep. Baa baa baa baa."

One of my co-counselors and I after the paint war
This is one of our morning Zacco songs that we sing before breakfast and it continually gets stuck in my head. Being a sheep means being led. This is pretty much the definition of my campers. They are the sheep and my co-counselor and I are their shepherds. We are the ones leading them to quiet waters during their Morning Watch time when they get to spend time with God. We are the ones leading them to green pastures where they can eat and be filled, 3 times a day, all while making sure that everyone gets food before we empty the dish. We are the ones who are giving them spaces to rest and reflect on the events going on around them. The sheep are completely dependent on the shepherds and are in great need of their care. The shepherds, my co and I, in this case are the ones who are given the responsibility of protecting them, leading them, facilitating them and loving them. 

To be honest, I was not prepared for how much of a shepherd and a leader I was going to be. Every single day, I am leading in some way. I am making sure that my campers are getting to events on time. I am co-teaching the morning Bible study. I am facilitating table manners and meal times. I am helping my girls to process past and present events. I am making decisions on the fly about what to do, what to choose and how we are going to present it to our girls. I am making mistakes and learning from them. I am reminded that what we do in moderation, our campers will do in excess. I am trying to listen to what they are saying and what they are not. I am encouraging my campers in their accomplishments and teaching them at their activities (particularly canoeing and archery). In short, I am leading nearly 24/7 which at times is super fun and other times, entirely exhausting. The two things that are saving me from burning out are my co-counselor and the Lord. 

Wilderness trip
We were meant to lead together, with each other, in community. Jesus sent out the seventy-two disciples in pairs for a reason. They needed one another to lead well and to continue doing their ministry faithfully. Both of the co-counselors that I have had so far have been wonderful. We have complemented each other well and learned to tag-team a lot of our leadership. I have been incredibly thankful for both girls. I've needed them to lean on, to give me grace, to help me answer questions, to make decisions as to what's best for our girls and to listen to me. I have been able to keep going because of my co-counselors and the rest of the SLS community as we are supporting and encouraging one another in this HoneyRock journey. It isn't easy a lot of the time but we are in it together and we have committed to living alongside one another for this summer. 

HoneyRock sunset
Even while I am a shepherd, I am also a sheep. A sheep in relation to God. He is my shepherd, protecting me, watching over me, caring for me and loving me. Jesus is the model of leadership of which I am to follow. I don't know how Jesus did it, He must have been perfect or something. But in all seriousness, my relationship with God has changed in good ways in that I am maturing, learning and growing which affects how I relate to Him. I am figuring out new ways to spend time with the Lord. I am seeing Him more and more in the marvelous creation that is around me. I love all of the time that we get to be outside even when it's 6am in the morning and I'm swimming in the lake for Solid Rock. I see His joy in camper worship as we worship Him with loud voices and lots of hand motions. I see His sweetness in my girls as they tell me about their lives back home, do "talent shows" and ask thoughtful questions during our morning Bible study. I see His truth as my girls share about their low points, highlights and "how they saw God today" at cabin reflection every night. I am walking into greater understanding of what it means to be a leader while learning to first be led by my Heavenly Father. So I do want to be a sheep, baa baa baa baa. 

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