::and so we commence::

The Order of the Phoenix (House) - aka my fabulous housemates and I

Commencement may mean the beginning of something but as we all know, in order for a new chapter to begin another one has to end. The last 4 years spent as a student at Wheaton College have come to a bittersweet close. So far in my short life, they've been some of the best and some of the hardest years of my life in such a variety of ways. I can't sum up my Wheaton career in one blog post but I can give some highlights of the experiences I've had, the things I've learned, and most of all, the people I've had the privilege of being in relationship with.

Thanks to my family for all their support, encouragement,
and love the past four years!

When I reflect on the experiences I've had, 2 categories come up. First, all of the times on campus that've been both spontaneous and planned, such as deep discussions in the library, late night conversations with my roommates, throwing house parties, walking to Lincoln Marsh, leading and participating in campus small groups, teaching Sunday School at Rez, going to campus events, working media tech on chapel crew, and more Saga meals than I can count. Second, the multiple times I've gotten to go out into the world and broaden my horizons. I've had the privilege of going on multiple programs including Wheaton in England, Summer Leadership School at HoneyRock, Semester in Spain, and El Camino de Santiago. My learning in each place has been on the ground, practically applicable, spiritually formational, and right in my face every moment of every day which was both super challenging and super cool. I've formed some of the sweetest communities during those programs, discovered my interests for my double majors (English Literature and Spanish), grown in my language skills, and pushed myself physically to do what I never thought I could do, by which I mean walking 272 kilometers over the period of 2 weeks (if you want to know more about how that went, check out this post). Each of these experiences has continued to form my faith, my identity, and my understanding of the world more globally. I'm so grateful I was able to participate in each of them and thankful for all those who supported and encouraged me in my adventures.

What have I learned in my 4 years here? That's an excellent question. One my parents probably want to know the answer to after sending me here for such a long time for a heck ton of money. Well, I have learned...

• what the Oxford comma is and where I am supposed to use it.
• that I can write an entire research paper in Spanish (whether or not it's any good is debatable).
• how to run both audio and video technology for live event production.
• when to hold to my boundaries and when to relax them.
• that sunshine and fresh air are more important for the health of my mind, body, and soul than I often realize.
• that listening well is one of the greatest gifts I can give to someone else.
• that spiritual disciplines are crucial to my well-being--I have kept my gratitude journal since sophomore year and have loved it. 10/10 would recommend to a friend!
• that I can't do everything and I can't be friends with everybody so I had to choose who I wanted to invest in and then tried to be all there.
• that land, story, identity, race, and theology are tied up together and being rooted in a place is crucial to my identity and faith (shoutout to Dr. Kriner!).
• that stick figures can be super useful in illustrating difficult theological ideas and beliefs (thanks, Dr. J!).
• that I don't like modernist literature at all. Neither the poetry nor the prose. Apologies to my American Literature profs. 
• to ask questions of race, ethnicity, and identity; to not be afraid to dig into those questions and what they mean for my friends and myself.
  
• that living with 7 other girls in a house is more than a little messy and chaotic but doable and a ton of fun.
• that sometimes I can go without sleep and sometimes I really can't, and choosing between those times takes wisdom.
• to give generously and wholly of my self, my time, my things without expecting anything in return (still working on this one).
• to love and learn about what my friends are passionate about and not to brush off things just because they are subjects I'm clueless about (i.e. anthropology, astronomy, or chemistry).
• to ask questions even if they sound dumb or obvious because that's how I'm going to learn and that having a decently thick skin is a helpful thing in life.
• that writing is more essential to my well-being than I realize and I need to practice it more regularly like writing on this blog! (thanks again for reading it)

Last but probably most important, the people who have been in my life the past 4 years. I can't name all of you nor thank you all properly for the roles you have played in my life but please know I'm incredibly grateful. I'm so thankful that our paths crossed, that we spent quality time together, for the conversations we had about both silly and serious things, and for how you cared about me. Many of the friends who I made freshman year aren't the people I'm close with now but I don't regret a single relationship. They still shaped and formed me during those first two years of college (shoutout to T2, T3, and 3East). I had many late nights, open floor fun, hallway conversations, and sweet memories with y'all. Some of the friends I made in junior and senior year are more "recent" friendships and perhaps we haven't shared 4 years together but the time we've spent with one another is still so dear and precious. Then there are those who have been with me the whole journey and what an adventure it has been! Thank you for sticking with me through all of it. It hasn't all been easy but I'm glad you were the ones who walked with me. It has meant more to me than you will ever know. 

Thank you to the faculty and staff who poured into me, invested in me, pushed me to think deeper and harder, made me laugh, and continually directed me back to the Lord. Thanks to my AIT bosses and the AIT community for giving me a different space to learn in, be challenged and grow in, and for what it means to work together with a lot of different kinds of people. Thank you to my housemates (#orderofthephoenixforever) and all the memories we've shared this past year. It's truly been a privilege to live with all of you wonderful, beautiful girls. You've been such a critical and sweet part of my senior year. I miss living with y'all already. Thank you to all those who have been in DSG with me as fellow participants, leaders, and coaches. It's been a blessing to be involved with all of you. Thank you for listening to me, making safe space for me to be heard, praying over me, and sharing your selves and your lives with me. My dear friends, each and every one of you, I've been impacted and influenced by you in some way, whether or not you or I realize it. Thank you for loving me and accepting me for who I am. But also for pushing me closer to the Lord, for wanting me to become the woman God has created me to be, and for reminding me of the joy, hope, and truth found in Christ. You all have meant the world to me. If you're reading this, please keep in loose touch. Know you're in my heart and I miss you muchly and love you dearly.

WE DID IT, GUYS!