::what if i can’t celebrate advent::
The candle I have held since I was a child Every year illuminating my world Has gone out I've tried to relight it But it... won't... stay... lit... Up on the altar I see the Advent candles burning brightly Week after week Purple. Perfect. Promising. But they’re too far away I’m sitting in the back row They can’t rekindle my candle Let them bring peace and hope to someone else My candle is hidden away Tucked into a box of memories of what was I don a smile and give my kids their candles Telling them of the light they will have all their lives Smothering the grief and frustration within Their joyful smiles and fascination with fire Are almost enough for a change of heart Yet the memories of extinguishment are too strong I close my eyes, breathe, and soldier on We light the candles on Christmas Eve Their luminosity builds in the room The awe and delight are too much I can’t bear it and turn away Someone finds me They don’t say ‘where is your candle?’ Or ‘why are you here?’ They s