Further Up and Further In

Look to your left. Look to your right. Look at the people right next to you. Look at those farthest from you. Look at your friends who you care about deeply. Look at your family who you love even though they drive you crazy. Look beyond, look deeper. See them. See imago dei in them. See them for who they really are. What do you see? Do you see the burdens they are carrying? Do you see the questions that torment them every day? Do you see the shame and guilt of the past? Do you see the image of God handcrafted in them? Do you see them the way God does? Do you see how they are ridiculed, shamed, looked down upon because of their appearance, lifestyle, decisions, or dreams? Do you see how the blood of Christ has covered them too, making them clean and forgiven? Do you see any of this? Or are you fooled like everyone else by the veneer of nice clothes, well done makeup, confident attitudes, and the air of a person who's "got it all together"? I know I am. I am both the o

She trembles. "Please don't", she whispers. So much has been taken from her already. Must this also be torn from her? "You can do it, you can do it", she mentally recites to herself. She's made it through many storms before but nothing like this. They were always by her side before. They were her foundation and her safety net to come back to. Now, it isn't like that. She has no place to go. No place to hide. She can feel herself splintering into a thousand pieces. Her world has been shattered and she is at a loss as to how to pick up the fragments. Rebuilding seems like a gigantic task and she wonders if she really has the strength to do it. She concentrates on one thing at a time, compartmentalizing to survive the pain that is part of every day. "Why? What happened? What now?" The questions perpetually swirl in her head. Some days she forgets what happened and you can hear her laughter and see her smile. Other days, something triggers her an

I wrote this poem right before I studied abroad in Sevilla, Spain. I have many posts that I draft and don't publish right away; mostly because I usually have multiple ideas flowing at the same time. I choose the one I think fits best for my life then and the rest hang out in draft form until needed. This is one of those posts that was written and stored away. Now I believe it's time for it to see the light. I'm open to hearing feedback and criticism. This is just what I was thinking and feeling at the time. What Is Privilege? It's a word my mom always used When I was a child "It's a privilege not a right" "Your privileges are taken away" I learned privilege wasn't about entitlement It was something I was given But it could also be retracted Now I'm older Privilege is a word I connect with Social justice and race relations I think of white privilege The underprivileged of our society The privilege I have been given As p

I'm a perfectionist by nature but I've learned perfection isn't always the best or most worthwhile thing. I'm also a person who loves deeply and is passionate about building meaningful relationships. This story is one that reminds me to engage more of the latter quality and worry less about the former. A young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. But an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, “Your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in … but they didn’t fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. The young man looked at the old man’s heart and laughed. “You must be joking,” he said. “C

"I just want to see the floating lanterns gleam! And with every passing hour, I'm so glad I left my tower! Like all you lovely folks I've got a dream!" One, I love the movie, Tangled. It's got great music, it's hilarious, Pascal and Max are some of the best sidekicks, and Flynn/Eugene's smolder absolutely makes the movie. Two, this is such a fun song! If you've never heard this song before or want to do so again, click here . Rapunzel openly spills the dream of her heart to a bunch of ruffians. She wants to see the floating lanterns that are released every year on her birthday and she'll do whatever it takes to get there. Even if that means taking a strange and very sketchy man captive with a frying pan and leaving her tower for the first time in forever (see what I did there, fellow Disney fans?). Oftentimes pursuing your dreams means you have to leave the safety and familiarity of your tower and wander in the great wide somewhere to make yo

In the mountains of Galicia Fun-sized candy bars, do they still make those anymore? I love them because that's often just amount of chocolate I want, two bites worth, and I'm satisfied. But the line, "I'm not short, I'm just fun-sized!" is one I find entertaining and have oft repeated in regards to my own height. As you already know, I'm a short person by American standards. I'm about 5'3" and the average height for an American woman is around 5'4"-5'5". So I'm not horribly short but just short enough that pants are a couple inches too long, I often can't quite reach something, and I'm always in the front row for group pictures. It's something I often joke about--you ask tall people if they play basketball but you don't ask short people if they play mini-golf! (okay, the fun-sized one was better)--and am occasionally grateful for since it means I can easily curl up in chairs or fit into small spaces co

Vale. Venga. Vamos. My roommate and I half-kidded throughout the semester that all you need to know in Spanish are these 3 words. But we were also kind of serious because you use and hear these 3 words all. the. time. But the real question is, what do they mean? Dancing at Feria de Abril (April Fair) Vale - everything affirmative, such as, okay, gotcha, mhmm, sure, etc. Usually used twice, so you would say, "vale, vale" if you wanted to sound more authentically Spanish. Once I figured out what it meant I used it every day and I said "vale" to numerous things over the course of the semester. Whether it was trying new foods like morcilla (blood sausage), octopus with visible suckers, clams still in their shells, whole shrimp--shell and all, and lastly, snails! I said "vale" to traveling around Europe, making mistakes and learning from them, and having the opportunity to explore some of the most amazing European cities like Zurich, London, and Amster

Reading with my sister and friend If you know me at all, you know I love to read and I mean, love to read. I've learned that reading is one of the rhythms of my life I need in order to function. It's up there with eating and sleeping for me. Anyways, I've read goodness knows how many thousands of books in my 16 years of being able to read and I love tracking the characters in the books. My childhood was living through the eyes of Anne Shirley of Green Gables and entering the magical world of Harry Potter with my dad and sister. I fell in love with Frodo, Aragorn, Arwen, and Eowyn. I've read and re-read the Chronicles of Narnia, gaining new appreciation and insight from every reading. The characters go through adventures and numerous conflicts. They change, grow, and develop which is a huge part of the beauty and brilliance of good writing. But the characters remain the same throughout the book. The Frodo you meet in the Shire at the beginning is still the same Fro

I don't have any profound thoughts or particularly poignant self realizations this time so I thought that I'd share some of the interesting anecdotes and snapshots that have happened to me since living and adventuring in Sevilla, Spain. Scavenger hunt photo in our neighborhood, Triana My roommate (she's a junior at Asbury University) and I attempted to explain to our host family what the word "sassy" meant. Elocution in Spanish is fun and challenging! We also tried to explain the significance of Groundhog's Day, definitely a strange American holiday that I don't understand. My host brother (he's 24 years old) and I bonded over a mutual love of Lord of the Rings or El Señor de los Anillos. That was a good night.  Weird foods I have eaten so far include: bull's tail (it's like ox tail Chinese style but not), blood sausage, whole clams/mussels still in the shells, and octopus (yes, I could see the suction cups on the tentacles). Fun coll

(author's note: this conversation is slightly paraphrased due to an imperfect memory. For context, it was held the day I left for Spain) This is straight-up how I function. No lie. Me: "Do you think anyone is ever ready for something that they're about to do?" Friend: *laughter* (kind, not mean) Me: "Why are you laughing at me?" Him: "That's a very vulnerable question. Indirect but vulnerable. Do you not feel ready?" Me: "No, I don't. But I don't know that I ever have been on any of my adventures." Him: "Our definition of ready usually means being without fear. But if readiness can include fear and anxiety, sometimes a lot of fear and anxiety, then you can be ready. Being ready can be being committed and doing what you know is right and what God has called you to. Being ready is also being prepared for what is to come, not just physically but also emotionally. It depends on how you define 'ready'."

Communion Christmas morning Bread in the manger and cup on the cross Redemption is a word that we, as Christians, usually associate with Easter not Christmas. But the truth is that Christ came as a baby to redeem us. His birth began the redemption process and it was culminated in His death at Easter. One does not usually think of Christmas as a holiday in need of redemption. But for many of our staff and residents, it does because news flash:  not everyone has good Christmas memories. You're probably like "Well, duh. This world is broken and full of sin. Christmas isn't brimming over with magic and snow globes for everyone." Perhaps not all of your Christmas memories are positive ones. I registered this fact for the first time when I was 13 or 14. I didn't realize that people had Christmases they didn't want to remember. That last Christmas was a sad and lonely time for them as they sat in their homes with only a pizza box for company. That last Chri