Further Up and Further In

Is it ever okay to fake it? Is "faking it" lying to people? If so, am I a terrible person every time I do it? These are moral questions I don't have answers to. Either I'm lying almost every day of my life or it's not truly a lie. We've all done it. We have all faked it till we made it, whether it's through a class, a day, a meeting, a season. It hurts, it's hard, it's not necessarily healthy but it is a regular occurrence. The funny thing is that pretending things are (mostly) okay usually works out in the end. I do still hold to the principles of honesty and integrity but I've also learned that sometimes you have to act like you can do it, pretend you feel it, or whatever it is, in order to do the good and needed things in life.  In college, I learned particular forms of faking it in regards to homework, relationships, extra-curriculars, existential and identity crises, and everything else in-between. And look, I made it! Out of college at le

Once upon a time... because all good stories start with once upon a time, right? Once upon a time... there was a dragon and a little girl. The dragon lived in his lair and the little girl lived in her house. They didn't know each other yet. As the little girl grew older, whispers went out to the dragon beckoning him to her. The dragon would come to the little girl and talk to her. At the beginning, the little girl didn't realize she was talking to a dragon. You have to know that she had never seen a dragon before, no one had ever mentioned the word, "dragon", so how was she supposed to know what it was? The conversations were short and the little girl often left them feeling a little scared or ashamed without knowing why. As time went on, the dragon became closer and closer with the girl. He moved to living with her in her house and eventually going with her everywhere. This dragon was a very well behaved dragon. Most of the time he didn't show his face or breathe

A fellow counselor serving trip food "If you kill it you __________" "FILL IT!" I heard this refrain every day all summer long as a camp counselor at HoneyRock. We taught our kids that if they finished a dish during a meal, they were responsible for refilling it so others could have more. The concept was simple: be aware of the needs of others and take responsibility for what you've done. Our campers would dutifully and rapidly refill every dish they had finished. The only trouble occasionally being that the other campers either wouldn't want more or they would only want one serving. So my co-counselor and I told our campers to ask everybody else if they wanted more before they went to get more helpings so we weren't wasting food. They wanted to make sure everything was full and while I appreciated their helping hands, I had to tell them it was okay if something remained empty. Or is it? How often are we the same way about far bigger things than another

Confession: When I saw Les Miserables for the first time in the West End in London, I had no idea what I was getting into. I knew it was a famous musical... that was about it. So at intermission, my friends explained the plot and characters to me since I didn't know it was literally all music and listening to song lyrics isn't my strong point but it was still incredible. Whenever theaters reopen, if you haven't seen it, go do it. You won't regret it. Most of the songs from Les Mis are iconic but especially " I Dreamed a Dream " by Fantine. It is tragically poignant as we understand what it means to have had a dream and watch it get crushed by circumstances outside of your control. Interestingly enough, the word God gave me for 2020 was "dream". I look back in my One-line-a-day journal and my entry on January 1, 2020 is full of enthusiasm for the year ahead, wondering what will happen. Oh child, little did you dream. I dreamed a dream in times gone by